bar talk

"My parents concieved me in a flash of literal lightning beneath a wry old oak."
"This is what you tell people you're being introduced to, normally?"
"Well, no, but I felt some kind of energy between us."
"You thought you felt some kind of energy between us, no doubt, thinking of the kind of energy your parents must have felt when they concieved you. Why bring up something so weird anyway? Did you think I'd be impressed?"
"Um, just an interesting fact about myself. I could tell you about the time that the forest wolf stole my favorite blanket when it flew in a hunger fit through my parent's farm cabin."
"Look, you're way to self-conceited for my tastes. Cheap talk, cheap laughs, that's all I'm after."
"Don't you want a genuine experience?"
"Yeah...but not listening to you tell me perverse stories about yourself. You don't seem that interesting, to be honest."
"But I've had a lot of interesting things happen to me."
"That doesn't make you interesting. In fact, it can make people pretty boring because they end up resting the entirety of their personality upon anecdotes that are of little consequence to the actual conversation at hand. Like, I was going to tell you that you should buy me a drink, and now I am insisting that you buy me a drink and walk the other way."
"But, I just..."
"Ok, no dice, I see. Have a nice life imagining scenes of your conception and thinking about how your parents made love."